As it is Halloween week, it’s time to put aside our normal cosmetic dentistry topics and turn our eyes to that macabre world, unseen by most, that is just as real (???!!!), but not as brightly lit. Let’s look at some of the monsters with the most amazing dentition ever committed to film.
When the predator finally takes off its mask and we get to see its face, we can’t help but agree with Arnie. However, the ugliness of the predator certainly makes its appearance distinctive, and, though it’s hard to discern a purpose for those weird winged flaps on either side of its mouth, they do stand out.
These small, winged creatures from Hellboy 2 get their name from the fact that they feed primarily on calcium, and, because they need more than you get from a glass of milk, they go right for the teeth of their victims. In addition to teeth and bones, they will eat every part of their victims.
Chatterer is a Cenobite, a group of extradimensional beings who have dedicated themselves to exploring the limits of human experience through sad0-masochism: sado-mastronauts, if you will. In his case, Chatterer has had the skin of his face pulled back to expose his teeth. It’s likely he has had other modifications, such as the removal of his tongue, because he only communicates by clicking his teeth.
Truly, a vampire is a beast most often defined by its teeth. These can vary from the basic fangs to the much more horrific irregular impalers of Nosferatu. Properly done, any of them can be suitably terrifying.
Because Godzilla likely only feeds on radiation, he doesn’t really need his teeth to eat. But they come in handy when he wants to chew on a train or put the bite on an extraterrestrial monster, though he usually leaves that to his even toothier friend, Anguilas.
Probably one of the best adaptations of Stephen King’s work for film, and certainly the best for television, It is a horror masterpiece for most of the movie. Though Pennywise looks relatively normal most of the time, he occasionally pulls out those incredibly gruesome, sharp teeth.
We’re referring to the hydra as envisioned in the Ray Harryhausen spectacle Jason and the Argonauts, the hydra beats out many of Harryhausen’s other creations because its teeth have the added power of growing into skeleton warriors.
This beast from mid-90s horror classic The Relic is often neglected in lists of monsters, but it’s a great creation that is often referenced and sometimes blatantly ripped off. Its teeth are especially noteworthy because they are intended to be functional. Huge mandibles for holding the prey with smaller ones designed for extracting specialized tissue.
Originally created for Ridley Scott’s Alien, this beast has one of the best sets of teeth in all creature featuredom. The double set of jaws with the extending inner set doesn’t really seem to serve any function except to terrify, but that’s okay, because it does that very well.
Of course, this beast’s name refers directly to the place it keeps its teeth. Described as an “eating machine,” Jaws has suitable teeth for its dismembering function. And if he had just learned to floss or use a toothpick when you get food stuck in your teeth, he might be alive today.
We hope you have enjoyed our little break from the norm this week. Let us know if you have any additions or alterations you’d like to make to our list. Happy Halloween!
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